A Pembroke Welsh Corgi named Biscuit.
A personal library, complete with squishy arm chairs, a window seat, nice lamps, and heavy curtains.
Secret doors and cupboards, everywhere, full of charming things.
An art/crafting studio (less arbitrary and more necessary, but, hey).
A big big bed (California King).
A big cedar chest, full of quilts.
A rack for my scarves.
An old, creaky house to live in, with a big, sturdy swing outside, under a tree that has good leaf changing colors. I'm not choosy about the tree.
---
All of these things are reasonably gettable. My current life style isn't conducive to them, but one day, I am hopeful to have them.
But they are arbitrary. They are not necessary, except the corgi and the art studio. Maybe the library and the bed (being long is rough).
I don't know, they feel pretty necessary or not difficult to do, so I look at them and think, "Is it so silly to want them?" I guess even my dreams and desires stay within a realm of "can do" rather than lofting up my wishes into "no, don't be silly." Like flying through space to see a nebula. I'd like to do that too. It isn't on my list though. I'm not that silly.
But, currently, my life is confined to a 10' by 10' room, and two shelves in a garage. I have a desk in the same, cold garage where I can make art and paint, but it is a cold place. I also have a 3' by 6' area in the garage that currently is the home of all of my storage boxes, yet to be stored. But that's my life, there. I haven't the space to spread out in, to make my own.
So one day, I imagine I will have that corgi and that art studio and that bed and a library and a person to share it all with. I didn't put a person to share it all with on that list, you notice. That person is not arbitrary.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Saturday, November 03, 2012
Money and food
I eat breakfast, usually something like a bagel with preserves and a hot chocolate. I eat lunch, which varies so much, it isn't consistent. Today it was a grilled cheese and a pickle. I often don't have dinner, but today I had waffles and earlier this week, pasta.
I'd like to eat better. I like spinach, so spinach salads sound lovely for lunches, with a roll and a slice of ham and swiss. Juice or water. Breakfast seems like something I've got down. Dinner needs improvement, but I struggle since it is a lot of work and I share my kitchen and am very tired when I come home.
Also, food costs money.
Often, after I paid all my bills, I am left with only a little bit. Usually around $200. This month, I owed a friend $100 for a purchase they made for me, so after my bills and everything were gone, I was left with about $100, and two trips to the store later, I'm at $22.
$22 to last me until November 15th.
My credit card finally replenished a bit, so I have $300 in there, but I want to be careful because I still have to pay off whatever I spend there, so mustn't be careless.
So it isn't easy to eat healthy. I should like to plan meals for myself, and hopefully improve my eating habits and health.
I also need to spend my money on nothing but bills and food for the next month or two and see what is left to me. I expect I waste a lot of it on frivolous things.
I'd like to eat better. I like spinach, so spinach salads sound lovely for lunches, with a roll and a slice of ham and swiss. Juice or water. Breakfast seems like something I've got down. Dinner needs improvement, but I struggle since it is a lot of work and I share my kitchen and am very tired when I come home.
Also, food costs money.
Often, after I paid all my bills, I am left with only a little bit. Usually around $200. This month, I owed a friend $100 for a purchase they made for me, so after my bills and everything were gone, I was left with about $100, and two trips to the store later, I'm at $22.
$22 to last me until November 15th.
My credit card finally replenished a bit, so I have $300 in there, but I want to be careful because I still have to pay off whatever I spend there, so mustn't be careless.
So it isn't easy to eat healthy. I should like to plan meals for myself, and hopefully improve my eating habits and health.
I also need to spend my money on nothing but bills and food for the next month or two and see what is left to me. I expect I waste a lot of it on frivolous things.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
All or nothing
I realize I am an all or nothing kind of person. I knew this, though only mildly, all my life. I can't bring myself to wear clothes I don't like. I mean, really like. As a kid, mom would buy me a shirt, and I'd tell her I hated it, and she told me to wear it anyway. And I never would. I'd glaze over it in my closet, and years would pass, and finally Mom would toss it. And if I somehow ended up in clothes I did not want to wear, I was miserable the whole day.
That transcends into basically everything. If it isn't what I want, I don't want it at all. If I am in the mood for a specific food, nothing else will do, and I'd rather wait, hungry, until I get it, or my mood changes. As well for dating. I can't lower my standards, and I will not date for fun because it feels like a waste of everybody's time. I want what I want, usually the best.
Now that I am an adult with my own income and making all of my own decisions, I have found myself indulging in this lifestyle. I buy exactly the clothes I want, and as a result, am very pleased with my personal fashion. I buy just the food I want, which can often be on a whim so I end up with junk food far too often (trying to change that habit). I do not do things I do not want to do.
It can be a bad thing. I end up not going to parties, not working on personal projects because I'd rather lay in bed and read until 2 am.
But, in the end, I think it will be a good thing for me. I think I will marry well. I will be satisfied with my art. I will be happy.
Foodie-ism
I was raised to be a bit of a foodie. My dad loves to cook and would always whip up some fantastic dish, never settling for mediocre. Whatever he made, he made it with style and the best flavors. I have been spoiled. Even after I moved out, I would still go to their house and eat whatever dish he had made, taking home leftovers and whatnot.
And then they moved to Virginia.
Since then, I don't eat so well. I eat well enough. I am not dying of scurvy or malnutrition. But. I miss high quality food. I miss a perfectly cooked steak with rosemary potatoes and steamed asparagus. I miss steamed artichokes and hollandaise. I miss chocomacamania cookies. Mushroom leek soup. Prime rib. Pulled pork sandwiches. Chile verde burritos. Barbecue wings with homemade sauce.
My dad's special touch to food.
I don't find the same relaxation in cooking as dad does, but I love high quality food. And my life is devoid enough of it now that I may throw myself into cooking just to have it back.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Love
Lately, my heart has been brimming with love. Not romantic love, but the kind of love you feel for your family and friends. And I seem to feel it for everyone. Everyone is a worthy creature, deserving of kindness and genuine smiles and affection. My chest feels open and light, like an atrium in a sparkling morning. Light, air, and a warm echo, beckoning to me. Everything resonates within me now, and feels wonderful. It's made me a much happier person. Overwhelmed by love and deep rooted happiness.
I felt like this back when I was in high school, I remember. I had sad feelings, but they didn't seem to matter and certainly weren't things you mentioned to others outside your family. Not sure what happened, but I think someone told me not to "suppress my emotions" and I was kind of made to speak out my negative emotions. In retrospect, a bad plan. I voiced them to my family, expressed them in my art--it was none of his business who I shared me emotions with.
But here I am again, feeling the freeness of spirit.
I think I want to attribute it to my new job. I got a job at a company I've wanted to work at pretty much forever. It's amazing. I feel so blessed and lucky to be there. Everyone is fun and pleasant and kind to me. How can I be unhappy there? I can't. It's exactly what I wanted and needed. Money problems, gone. Insurance woes, vanished. Company of understanding friends, achieved.
No wonder I see the world in hues of gold and pink now.
I felt like this back when I was in high school, I remember. I had sad feelings, but they didn't seem to matter and certainly weren't things you mentioned to others outside your family. Not sure what happened, but I think someone told me not to "suppress my emotions" and I was kind of made to speak out my negative emotions. In retrospect, a bad plan. I voiced them to my family, expressed them in my art--it was none of his business who I shared me emotions with.
But here I am again, feeling the freeness of spirit.
I think I want to attribute it to my new job. I got a job at a company I've wanted to work at pretty much forever. It's amazing. I feel so blessed and lucky to be there. Everyone is fun and pleasant and kind to me. How can I be unhappy there? I can't. It's exactly what I wanted and needed. Money problems, gone. Insurance woes, vanished. Company of understanding friends, achieved.
No wonder I see the world in hues of gold and pink now.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The precipice
Having only graduated from something once before in my life, I am not very experienced at it, and the last time I did was 6 years ago, so I have forgotten pretty much everything. Luckily, I don't have to do much but wear a silly gown and a square hat, walk across a stage, shake a hand, and look pretty.
It's the after.
It's always the after.
I know you're supposed to start working and be an adult. But THAT is something I have never done before. Nor have I done this no-school thing, either. Not going back at the end of a summer? WEIRD. Almost panic worthy.
Not much else to say other than I'm a bit worried about what I'll do with myself (I mean, all I want to do is draw all day, but that doesn't get me fed).
It's the after.
It's always the after.
I know you're supposed to start working and be an adult. But THAT is something I have never done before. Nor have I done this no-school thing, either. Not going back at the end of a summer? WEIRD. Almost panic worthy.
Not much else to say other than I'm a bit worried about what I'll do with myself (I mean, all I want to do is draw all day, but that doesn't get me fed).
Monday, February 07, 2011
Likes
Some thing's I really like.
The band Stars
Actual stars
The web-comic Bad Machinery
Twice looped studded belts
Wind chimes
Light through glass or crystal
A fresh pillowcase
The band Stars
Actual stars
The web-comic Bad Machinery
Twice looped studded belts
Wind chimes
Light through glass or crystal
A fresh pillowcase
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
My art
I'm selling some here, for super low prices.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/allibthomas
Go buy one! :D
http://www.etsy.com/shop/allibthomas
Go buy one! :D
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Super Size Me
I watched Super Size Me for the first time today. Probably not the best day to watch it, as I've been nauseated all day, but all the same... I watched it.
I'm happy to say I almost never eat McDonald's. The only McDonald's I do eat are their soft serves, and I have one of those every 6 months or so. Nom.
But I don't eat well. I don't eat veggies or fruits very often, mostly because I have some stomach problems that limit which F&V I can eat, so I tend to steer clear all together. But I should make an effort. Maybe I can't eat tomatoes, but I can eat all the other veggies. Maybe I can't eat citrus, but I can eat the other fruit. I'm that lazy, huh?
And since I started going to SJSU, I've started eating fast food more. They have a Burger King right by my classes. I succumb frequently, if I have money on hand (which is rare, actually).
Anyway, I am going to make a new goal. For the next 30 days I will not eat any fast food. The only places I will eat out at will be sit down restaurants, and my portions will be small. At home, I'm going to really push my family to keep fruits and veggies in stock. It's going to be hard for me, especially with my addiction to cake and chocolate muffins. But I can handle this.
I'm happy to say I almost never eat McDonald's. The only McDonald's I do eat are their soft serves, and I have one of those every 6 months or so. Nom.
But I don't eat well. I don't eat veggies or fruits very often, mostly because I have some stomach problems that limit which F&V I can eat, so I tend to steer clear all together. But I should make an effort. Maybe I can't eat tomatoes, but I can eat all the other veggies. Maybe I can't eat citrus, but I can eat the other fruit. I'm that lazy, huh?
And since I started going to SJSU, I've started eating fast food more. They have a Burger King right by my classes. I succumb frequently, if I have money on hand (which is rare, actually).
Anyway, I am going to make a new goal. For the next 30 days I will not eat any fast food. The only places I will eat out at will be sit down restaurants, and my portions will be small. At home, I'm going to really push my family to keep fruits and veggies in stock. It's going to be hard for me, especially with my addiction to cake and chocolate muffins. But I can handle this.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Somehow, this slipped my mind
I forgot to publicly announce the start of my first, official, webcomic.
http://collide.smackjeeves.com/
(Update: that comic address is no longer where my comic is hosted. If you go there, you'll find someone else's comic.)
You may or may not have seen the link for it around. But there it is. Officially. At this point it is 34 pages long. So few pages, and so far to go. So very, very far.
I'm excited to do this! I love this story!
http://collide.smackjeeves.com/
(Update: that comic address is no longer where my comic is hosted. If you go there, you'll find someone else's comic.)
You may or may not have seen the link for it around. But there it is. Officially. At this point it is 34 pages long. So few pages, and so far to go. So very, very far.
I'm excited to do this! I love this story!
Friday, January 01, 2010
Resolutions
Well, it's the new year. I decided I should do some resolutions--I never really have before. This will be much more official, and I can come back at the end of the year and see what I did. All right, here we go.
-Continue Collide, without fail
-Move out of my parents house
-Sell art at a con
-Finish editing my manuscript
-Be a better friend (aka, hang out with peeps more--I'm such a recluse)
Yep. I'll probably be back to edit more later.
-Continue Collide, without fail
-Move out of my parents house
-Sell art at a con
-Finish editing my manuscript
-Be a better friend (aka, hang out with peeps more--I'm such a recluse)
Yep. I'll probably be back to edit more later.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Christmas
I am making few appearances here, I know. Whatever.
Christmas was awesome this year. Mostly, I was excited to give my gifts to my family. It went like this.
Dad got a set of paintings of the ocean.
Mom got a hard to find book of BoM paintings.
Gordon got Halo: ODST
Brock got a bike
Laura got a pencil drawing of a scene from her book.
Karren got a book of Haikus written by her friends and family.
Stu got a bear with a little doctor's coat and stethoscope.
I was very happy to give them those presents, as most of them were a result of a long time of planning and careful execution.
I got some neat-o things too!
A camera and case
A playskool flashlight, with red/green light features
Leggings
Lots of gift cards
Candy!
Earrings
A lovely necklace
^__^ So, happy Christmas, all!
Christmas was awesome this year. Mostly, I was excited to give my gifts to my family. It went like this.
Dad got a set of paintings of the ocean.
Mom got a hard to find book of BoM paintings.
Gordon got Halo: ODST
Brock got a bike
Laura got a pencil drawing of a scene from her book.
Karren got a book of Haikus written by her friends and family.
Stu got a bear with a little doctor's coat and stethoscope.
I was very happy to give them those presents, as most of them were a result of a long time of planning and careful execution.
I got some neat-o things too!
A camera and case
A playskool flashlight, with red/green light features
Leggings
Lots of gift cards
Candy!
Earrings
A lovely necklace
^__^ So, happy Christmas, all!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Applesauce?
Three people ask the same question (what's 2 divided by 3?) and get different answers.
No.
1/3.
Applesauce.
And each of their answers makes sense to them.
No.
1/3.
Applesauce.
And each of their answers makes sense to them.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Concert and Interview
So last night I went to The Sounds' concert in San Francisco. I went mostly to see Shiny Toy Guns, though, as I had arranged to interview Jeremy (keyboardist) after their set. As a result, I missed most of The Sounds set. But it's okay, I interviewed Jeremy for 45 minutes.
It was fun and crazy and I recorded the entire interview on my phone. I've been transcribing for a while now, but it's only a few minutes into the interview. I have a lot more to do.
Once it's edited, I'll post a copy up here. :)
EDIT:
Here it is! It has swears in it, I'm afraid.
It was fun and crazy and I recorded the entire interview on my phone. I've been transcribing for a while now, but it's only a few minutes into the interview. I have a lot more to do.
Once it's edited, I'll post a copy up here. :)
EDIT:
Here it is! It has swears in it, I'm afraid.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Listen up!
I was recently exposed to an artist whose style speaks volumes to me. So I wrote this entry in my art blog.
http://bit.ly/14B5ml
It's frustrating having a dream and trying to balance it between school and a social life. School has to come first above the other two, and I usually end up sacrificing socialness to work on the dream. Not that I aim to avoid being with my friends, because I really want to be with them. So often.
Anyway, it's hard finding time to balance myself. Like I can't really draw until Wednesday evening--when my essays will be done.
Gr, 3 essays due on Wednesday. Gr.
http://bit.ly/14B5ml
It's frustrating having a dream and trying to balance it between school and a social life. School has to come first above the other two, and I usually end up sacrificing socialness to work on the dream. Not that I aim to avoid being with my friends, because I really want to be with them. So often.
Anyway, it's hard finding time to balance myself. Like I can't really draw until Wednesday evening--when my essays will be done.
Gr, 3 essays due on Wednesday. Gr.
Friday, October 09, 2009
Little things
I really enjoy life. Sometimes, as humans are prone to do, I forget. But some little thing will remind me how awesome it is. So here's somethings I like to rely on.
Cold Honey Bunches of Oats w/Milk
A finely sharpened pencil
Marbles
Knitting
Wind chimes
The first sip of new soda
Sunbathing on the carpet in the quiet house
Origami
Brisk wind
Scarves
Sunlight making green leaves glow
Caterpillars
A clean bathroom
A new fan of my art
Brady hugs
Blankets far larger than me
Anyway, today was frustrating and disappointing so I needed some time to enjoy life a little. I feel better.
Cold Honey Bunches of Oats w/Milk
A finely sharpened pencil
Marbles
Knitting
Wind chimes
The first sip of new soda
Sunbathing on the carpet in the quiet house
Origami
Brisk wind
Scarves
Sunlight making green leaves glow
Caterpillars
A clean bathroom
A new fan of my art
Brady hugs
Blankets far larger than me
Anyway, today was frustrating and disappointing so I needed some time to enjoy life a little. I feel better.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Life accomplishments
My sister has a list of 100 things she wants to accomplish in her life. This is my attempt at seeing how many things I hope to accomplish in my life.
1. Get Married
2. Have kids
3. Live in a foreign country
4. Publish a novel
5. Publish a graphic novel series
6. Learn to drive stick shift
7. Become accomplished on the guitar
8. Learn to the play the Piano
9. Sing in a band (Just once, doesn't have to be famous)
10. Have a booth at ComicCon
11. Shoot a handgun
12. Ride a Bullet Bike
13. Learn Japanese
14. Go to Japan
15. Get a Bachelors Degree
16. Get a Masters Degree
17. Hike a Volcano
18. Go to all 50 states
19. Roadtrip with a friend
20. Travel across Europe
21. Go to Australia
22. Teach English in Japan
23. Go through the temple
24. Knit/Crochet a hat
25. Make something out of glass
26. Learn to dance
27. Make a quilt
28. See my siblings all married and become parents
29. Finish illustrating Collide
30. Illustrate at least 3 graphic novel stories
31. Learn to snowboard or ski
32. Meet the Prophet
33. Hold a monkey
34. Learn Welsh
35. See my children married in the temple
36. See my sons go on missions
37. Have grandchildren
38. Go on a cruise
39. Meet Kazu Kibuishi & wife, Amy Kim Ganter
40. Have a short story in a comic anthology
41. Be a missionary
42. Return to Wales
43. Never get cancer
44. Have a dog
45. Go to India
46. Go to Russia
47. Be accomplished on the Violin
48. Get a degree in Geology
49. Have some of my art featured on a book cover, or in a movie
50. See the Northern Lights
50 isn't so bad. :)
1. Get Married
2. Have kids
3. Live in a foreign country
4. Publish a novel
5. Publish a graphic novel series
6. Learn to drive stick shift
7. Become accomplished on the guitar
8. Learn to the play the Piano
9. Sing in a band (Just once, doesn't have to be famous)
10. Have a booth at ComicCon
11. Shoot a handgun
12. Ride a Bullet Bike
13. Learn Japanese
14. Go to Japan
15. Get a Bachelors Degree
16. Get a Masters Degree
17. Hike a Volcano
18. Go to all 50 states
19. Roadtrip with a friend
20. Travel across Europe
21. Go to Australia
22. Teach English in Japan
23. Go through the temple
25. Make something out of glass
26. Learn to dance
27. Make a quilt
28. See my siblings all married and become parents
29. Finish illustrating Collide
30. Illustrate at least 3 graphic novel stories
31. Learn to snowboard or ski
32. Meet the Prophet
33. Hold a monkey
34. Learn Welsh
35. See my children married in the temple
36. See my sons go on missions
37. Have grandchildren
38. Go on a cruise
39. Meet Kazu Kibuishi & wife, Amy Kim Ganter
40. Have a short story in a comic anthology
41. Be a missionary
42. Return to Wales
43. Never get cancer
44. Have a dog
45. Go to India
46. Go to Russia
47. Be accomplished on the Violin
48. Get a degree in Geology
49. Have some of my art featured on a book cover, or in a movie
50. See the Northern Lights
50 isn't so bad. :)
Friday, October 02, 2009
To do
I have realized I love making to-do lists. I get so much more done. Probably?
[ ] Knit Matty scarf
[ ] Read Geog stuff
[ ] Page 12 (or more)
[ ] Ancient Studies paper
[ ] Clean room
What to do first?
[ ] Knit Matty scarf
[ ] Read Geog stuff
[ ] Page 12 (or more)
[ ] Ancient Studies paper
[ ] Clean room
What to do first?
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