Friday, October 24, 2008

Life needs direction

My life can sometimes fall into a rut. I will be working consistently, going to school daily, and just living. But. Somehow, it's not right. Why?

I don't really know. I mean, it's not wrong. It's just monotonous? No... Arg. This is frustrating me.

Okay, I think what it is is that my life is going on and I'm working hard, but I don't feel like I'm making progress. So I'm not down in the dumps because I feel productive! Yay productivity! But where is it going? Leading me on to be a teacher? Is that where I'm headed? That's fine. I don't mind being a teacher. But is that it for me? What about my life? What about getting married one day? I don't know what will happen there, and it's a little scary to be out of the know. What about creating art that inspires people to feel one way or another? Will that happen? I aim for it, and shoot for it, and try very hard, but will it happen?

The unknown is annoying because I can't see how close I'm getting to those goals. I can see the other goals in my life and my progress towards them. but I just can't see how near or far I am from those two. The two most important goals for me.

I want to see.

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