Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I promised my I'd never be in an occupation I didn't love

Okay, so today I was listening to the radio (a rare occurence, but my Dad likes it) and Sean Hannity was chewing out some loser for whining about how he can't afford a house because he is doing the job of his choice. He didn't want to get a second job because he thought he wouldn't have any time to be with his family. Sean ripped him a new one on how unamerican that was. It's a long story.

But it made me think on how I'm sitting around complaining on how my classes are requiring so much work. *Whine* And how stupid I sound because I didn't really know how much time this would take. So I did the math!

7 days in the week, each day with 24 hours; that's 168 hours in a week. If I sleep 8 hours a day, that gives me 112 hours of consciousness in the week. I spend 14 hours a week physically in a classroom, and 4 hours doing church related business. Thence, I have 94 hours to fill.

Now, each class requires some odd hours of work per hour of class. With that math scheme, I have approximately 28 hours of studying/homework to do each week. That reduces my 94 to 66. I need to study for the SAT, which should total out to 12 hours a week (roughly 2 hours a day). And so, all that laid out...

I have 55 hours of free, conscious time a week. I have no idea why I am complaining. No idea at all. ^__^ 55 hours to read, write, draw, nap, play games, watch TV, and be social!!!

I've also roughed out timely sketches of each day for me.

Mondays/Wednesdays: In school for 2 hours, study for 4.5 hours, SAT for 2 hours, leaving me 7.5 hours of fun.

Tuesdays/Thursdays: In school for 6 hours, study for 4.5 hours, SAT for 2 hours, leaving me 3.5 hours of fun. On tuesday I have institute though.

Fridays/Saturdays: I study for 4.5 hours, SAT for 2 hours, leaving me 9.5 hours of fun.

Sundays: I'm at church for 4 hours (get there early, leave a bit late), I can study for 4.5 hours, SAT for 2, leaving me 7.5 hours.

It's probably a bit off, but it gives me comfort to know I have so much free time still. ^_^ I just need to manage my time accordingly. Sleeping earlier, waking earlier.

Tonight, I am going to Kay's to watch the Relief Society Broadcast with the female portion of the ward. Of course, that's after we eat lemon chicken and various other deliciously, home made chinese dishes.

We descend

Last night was wretched. I tried to walk around upstairs and the pain in my stomach escalated to such an extreme point, I collapsed onto the ground. I pulled my self into as tight of a fetal position as I could and lay there for a while. My mom came up and heled me get to my bed. I rested for a long long time before I could change. Then I had to rest some more. Haley called and we talked. I miss her. Then I was sick again. I finally got to bed.

This morning, I felt a lot better, but I didn't want to risk upsetting my stomach again. So I had a small cup of jello for breakfast and 3 fl. ounces of ginger ale. I went to Tai Chi, but only to make sure she didn't drop me. Then I came back to the institute and saw Jon! So, for old times sake, and because I was feeling up to it, we played a quick game of pool. I didn't feel sick, so good for me. But I came home anyway.

I'm sipping my ginger ale. I will probably go watch some TV. Then I'll cut some fabric out so I can sew tonight. Oh! And call Jolene.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Super fun, super fun

Okay, the nausea has not subsidded in the least. It has only gotten worse, if anything. I can hardly move for fear that I will throw up. I haven't eaten much. Some crackers. A hamburger. Some little doughnettes. A few other things. But almost seconds after I ate a thing, I felt ill. I drank a bottle of pepsi, but it ran out quickly; and when I wasn't physically sipping it, I felt ill. I can't stand up. Or move as I sit.

I get motion sickness if I move an inch.

And, oh joy, tomorrow is Tai Chi.

I'm going to beg for a drink and go lay down. Maybe my sister will come sit with me.

Oh. And last night I was asked a question. It made me think. Now I'm questioning myself...

I'm too sick to feel enthusiastic

I think I'm going to throw up. Honestly, for the past few days I'm either on the verge of throwing up, or I feel completely starving. Right now, I am afraid to open my mouth.

I woke up later than I planned. I didn't have time to work out, or shower, or anything. Gr. T__T

School soon. Three classes today. Oooh... very exciting. Contemporary nutrition first. Mythology and Folklore. Spanish. *wave a little flag*

Oh man... I don't know if I should eat. I don't think the food will stay down.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

And so...?

Been resting my neck up. As in, sleeping in. Reading. Watching things. I haven't been driving at all. And, my pain has been reduced to nothing. I don't hurt in the same way anymore. Now, if I sleep wrong, my neck hurts for a little while and I rub it and it goes away. If I sit in a particular angle too. But things have simmered down for me.

Anyway! I have still been studying for the SAT. But I read a very depressing book I don't ever plan on reading again. Nope. Haley came over last night too. She's home for two days because Trevor's back in from his mission. She's leaving on Sunday. I'm glad we got to hang out a bit. She gave me a pirate book and a CD. I gave her her gift from Brighton and the giant fuzzy mom got her. Yay!

Today will be good. I'm updating my iPod, then I'll shower. Clean my room. Write my talk. Study. Paint. All that good stuff.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Including suggestions

Sometimes I laugh at myself because of the things I do.

Today, for example, I was studying in the living room. I gathered up my things to move my session upstairs, when my cell phone slipped from my stack of books and tumbled 2 feet onto the carpet. It bounced under a short, yet wide, white table in our living room. I glanced down to see if it was within reach. I could not see it. And yet, I did not set down my books and get on my knees to look under the table. I did not try to slide the table away from me. No no, I grabbed it with my free hand and lifted it up until I could see my phone. Then I set it down, picked up my phone, and walked out of the room. Then I laughed. I did what seemed to require the least amount of work.

Well, I thought it was funny.

Anyway. I finished watching a TV show off of You Tube. Or, I thought it was over. No no. It hasn't all been uploaded. Which pleases me, and displeases me. I'm too caught up in the story to walk away. I'm impatient for the next episode (I think it comes out weekly). Grump.

And in other news, when I am not studying or watching TV off the internet (which really doesn't make much sense) I shall be writing. Or playing games. I will strive to write and read. That will also help me prepare for the SAT. Gaming, shall not. Though it is fun.

Now... SAT! Study! Rawr!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Pai Mai... here I come.

Determined to make things change. If I want to go places, I have to work. Study for the SAT. Focus on classes. Rar.

This week I'm going to lay low again. I don't hurt as badly as I did last week, but I am going to play it safe for when I start school again. In a week. *eep* Nerve racking, now that it's so near..

And Gordo and I are watching Kill Bill Vol. 2 (on TV)

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Pain never was fair

It's not fair! I was feeling better. I haven't felt much pain at all-- almost none, the whole day. But I drove to Vince's party and it hurt a little. And as the party progressed, it hurt more. And more. Until I finally gave up and drove home. The time was not even 10. I am vastly unhappy. And I'm in pain.

My day was slow and dull. I was looking forward to the party.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Why... they are potatoes! With faces!

I went on a date! A real one. He called me, asked me, his brother drove the 4 of us, he opened all my doors for me, he paid, bought me a chocolate sunday, and walked me to my door. We all had a marvelous time, laughing and eating and they all bowled like crazies. I didn't. My neck is still evil. Not as evil. But evil all the same. It's just waiting for me to over-exert.

I went to the library today and got 4 books. I finished them. They were good. *snicker* And comic books!

Tomorrow I am going to a party!

I sat 3 days in the same ol' chair

What can I say? I write in spurts. I've spent the last few days of forever nursing my injured neck.

A few weeks ago, for FHE, we all went to the Boardwalk. As we stood in line for the last ride (Giant Dipper), I decided it would be a good idea to lean against the wall of the corridor and to put my feet up against the other wall. In essance, brace myself between the two walls and hold myself above the ground. But, I am not as long as that, and promptly fell. And hit the back part of my head on the hand rail. It's more like a decorative board, firmly attached and painted to match the wall. And it caused me pain. And, being my prideful little self, I laughed when it happened and spent the whole night pretending not to hurt, while silently developing the most massive head ache imaginable.

For the next few days, I had intense pain on the right side of my head and behind my right eye. That faded away shortly though and left me alone for a day or so. Possibly more. For some reason, I am inclined to say I felt nothing but head aches for a week. And then I got all the horrible neck pain. The neck pain got worse and worse. It went into my head as well, so I did not find enjoyment in bending forward. And then it fingered down into my back. And so, before 3 days had passed (from the beginning of said neck pain) I was unable to move my upper torso without wanting to cry. Which I did from time to time from frustration and annoyance and pain. Frusnoyain (frush-noy-ane).

We did finally go to the doctor, on Monday, who told me to take the next 2 weeks off and if the pain did not subside after 3 weeks, to come back. So I had to find people to take my shifts for my last week of work. Alas, I had to go into work that day and (you guessed it!) work. And by the end of monday, I only had someone to cover for me on wednesday, and I had asked everyone! So I called Carrie, who was not in on Monday, and left her a message about my problem and begged her for help. But she didn't call me back until the next morning, Tuesday. We decided I could get thursday off, and she managed to convince a girl to stay until 6 for that day. But I still had to come in at 6 and help Anna close. I did that ungrudgingly and we had a smashing time talking and cleaning the store. I bought myself my favorite pieces of jewelry (1, 2 and 3), and thus ended my career at Brighton. Probably.

And so, I have spent the past three days lying in my Father's big leather recliner chair, watching TV and movies, because only in his chair did I find a place to rest my head that actually did not hurt. I couldn't sleep in my bed, for it only hurt my neck even moreso. So I had to sleep in the chair. Essentially, I spent 3 days in the same ol' chair. And I was lonely and depressed. Serious depression went on there. I hated it.

But tonight, I get to sleep in my very own bed because my neck pain has gone down drastically from nursing it so fervently. And taking my pain meds when required. Go me! I watched Emma, and Pride & Prejudice. It only gives me more incentive to study!

Tomorrow, I shall study heavily for the SAT, write, and sleep. A good friday it shall be.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Hills, castles, and misty dreams

I love Great Britain. I have for 5 years. Sometimes, I think people forget that. But I don't.

When I was 12 years old, my father decided to take our family to Great Britain. He flew us to London and we stayed in the huge city for a few days. We traveled around the remainder England for the first week, staying at bed and breakfasts, experiencing the huge, beautiful, touristy amusements the country had to offer; and we basked in the sublte warmth and comfort of the countryside and the people.

Then, we went to Wales. We stayed in Llanelli that sunday and went to the small ward there. Roughly 75 people attended that ward, and being new the young women's program, I went to the young women's meeting. There were only 4 girls there, not including myself. And I met a girl. She was the only Laurel there. She was so kind to me, talking to me and taking care of me. Making me feel so welcome. Even though I knew her for 2 hours, I hold her in the highest esteem. In the afterlife, I will see her again and hug her in graditude. Never have I visited a ward and felt so loved.

The next few days were spent driving around Wales. We went to countless castles (for Wales has the most castles per square foot than any other country) and I saw herds of sheep running around, wrapped in heavy coats of wool. They always watched us as we trekked up the hills to the castles, some would even follow us for a few steps. I took it into my head that I should like to chase these sheep and try to talk to them. In their native tongue, sheepish. There is a photo of me, running behind the herd as they flee (like sheep do). I am reminiscent of a sheep dog in that posture. I did give up on the running bit and tried my hand at "sheepish." And that got their fleecey attention. They were riveted in so much as to approach me. My bleating seemed to be pretty good! But I digress.

The castles there are all set into the emerald green hills. Almost always do they rest upon the top of a hill, the base of which has a forest growing and extending. Most of the castles had lost their floors, various walls, and were over grown with vines and grasses. Broken pieces of stone lay scattered in a beautifully tragic way. But the last one, was remarkably intact compared to the previous ones I had seen. It still had most of its walls, floors, and ceilings. True, one half of the place was nothing but an archway, a few crumbled corners, and a pair of huge sheep nestled against a boulder. But the other half... It was a lovely.

Two stairways on different sides of the structure, both leading to an upper room, which was most likely a study. The room possessed a large old carpet, a lovely wood table and windows with a breath taking view of the small town across the hills. One window had a view of the road. And if, when poking your head out into the cool air, you looked straight down, you could see a small Ewe, tucked into a discreet corner. I put my linguistics to good use once again and carried on a conversation. Yes, that lonely sheep respond to me. And when my family and I had to leave, walking down the dirt road to our hulking van, I saw that sheep emerge from her hidy-hole. She stood on the stone wall, which protected the corridor from the sheer drop off the cliff. She stood and watched me walk. And then, as if to call me back, she sent out a long bleat. And I, in turn, echoed her. This we did until she was nothing but a small white shine against the dark gray stone.

On our last day in Wales, we decided to visit a Fairy Glen. A Fairy Glen is not some advertised tourist trap. I cannot think of anything I saw in the whole country that was. A Fairy Glen appears to be nothing more than a wooden gate in a wooden fence. The fence, being only 3 feet in height and consisting of two rectangular beams per section, each section about 6 feet in length. Needless to say, a glimpse of the glen is not difficult to catch. So, you drop the required amount of money into a locked box and, on your honor, you go through the small rickety gate.

And, just the same as the view outside the gate implies, you are in a small field that has a small worn path winding through it. The grass is a lovely light shade of green, and it smells heavenly, for you can see small flowers poking up between grass blades. And you follow the path until it leads you into the woods. Yes, the view of the field was only a small portion of this glen wherein dwell fairies.

The wood is dark and rich in greens, browns and yellows. In fact, some green leaves are so dark in color, they appear blue. And the ground is dappled with sunlight, so the forest has the illusion of being a forest of glowing gems and precious things.
You follow the path, passing perfectly grown mushrooms, tiny ivy leaves, clover patches, and (as you go deeper) small petaled flowers. Pinks, yellows, blues, and whites, these flowers are tiny and innocent. They grow everywhere.
The trees are not thick and tall. They are slender, but strong. Some have almost black bark and dark green leaves, their branches extending out in an effort to cover as much ground from the sun as they can. And then there are trees with white bark and pale green leaves, with branches no thicker than a tetherball pole, the branches grow almost straight up or not out too far. It is as though the tree is trying to wrap itself up for a long rest.
The path leads you down to a small river. It is not a creek, nor a brook. It is a river. It tumbles over smooth blue stones. Stones that have fallen from the sheer rock wall across from you. It tumbles and bubbles over these stones and around a large boulder, whirling around the bends. And if you climb upon this boulder and look down the river, you can see the mist between the sheer walls. As the mist lightens, there is a large log that has fallen into the slim ravine. But it is too long and has become caught against the rocks. It is the only connection you can see between the two shadowy walls. And it is growing still. You can see the green. But then the mist thickens and the bridge is gone.
It is at this time you see the butterflies. The river is surrounded by butterflies. They are pearly white and fluttering like a whisper on the wind. They float around you, batting their angelic wings in soft motions.
It is entrancing.

You can see how a girl, who has known nothing but dusty deserts, red mountains of clay, and for a short while, the green of California, would fall in love with this country set in the land of her ancestors. Not only does my blood call for me to go, but my adventurous side calls. My romantic side. My artistic side. My soul yearns to return. It always has ever since that day. I have missed the green hills, the kind people, the comfort of the air and the language.

I miss it.