Friday, August 31, 2007


I've been suffering from some pretty severe migraines for the past, oh... week. It's been something akin to purgatory. But I didn't know they were migraines! I thought they were just some inexplicable headaches. That taking pain meds would cure me of it. That eating meals with lots of protein and vitamins would help too!


My Dad was swift to identify them. And quick to inform me of what measures to take. I am to not eat:
Caffeine (not hard)
Cheese (Not too bad, either)
Chocolate (Um...)
Sugar (?!?!?)
This all makes me very sad! But I must bear it... I have sworn off milk until the headaches cease, because I feel it too closely related to cheese. And experience has shown that after I drink milk, my headache lasts and lasts-- depite taking the headache medicine.

I am suspicious of the headache medicine! It's excedrine. Does that not have caffeine? I thought it did... seems rather silly.


I want to make a pie. I don't make pie, though. I never have, actually. I don't know how. I want to learn. I want to find a recipe, and buy some fruit things (blackberries?) and make a delicious pie. Or maybe a raspberry pie. Or a chocolate pie. Either way, a pie! I want to make one! And then, give it to someone. I should make a tester first, though. Pie can turn out wrong, I hear. -._-.

I want them to have cute little patterny things on top. The weave pattern, or something. That'd be the awesome! :D

Friday, August 17, 2007

Huh what?

I've recently felt old fears creeping back into my mind. Social fears. Fear that springs up when I look into someone's face. I fear they wish I would go away. If I call, I'm afraid they don't want to talk to me. Same with IM. And emailing. And plain old talking. Afraid they wish me away and I can't take a hint. Heh. This is the fear that makes me act confident and loud-- if I act like everyone wants me, everyone will. Right?

I think my pain meds are getting to me. I feel shaky-- been feeling so all night. My chest feels shaky and my limbs feel quivery and heavy (like lead). I often need to rest them limply at my sides. And take deep breaths. Maybe I should eat something; I might be hungry.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

More turns

Okay, so things have gotten better on the school front. I reapplied for that math course today and I was allowed to be wait listed, so I feel lucky! I was lucky that I got the classes I wanted at the times I wanted, even.

I've also been working on the year long schedule some more. Need to factor in Pre-calc classes. Some Chemistry or Physics too. Maybe I could retake my Geology course. I would enjoy that. I still have my book and notes. :) I'll definitely reconsider it!

I'll later post up my entire plan. When it's complete.

I'm waiting for a call back from a girl I know who worked as a receptionist for this Dentist I want to work under. She's going to give me advice. I hope this works for me... It would be perfect.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Life turns

Haaa... I'm tired. In a good way. I suppose?


Today I realized that I didn't know when I was supposed to register for my Fall courses. So, an hour and a half before a party, I popped on-line to check. And my heart plummeted. My registration date was July 25th!!!! I am almost a month late! Oh noes!!

So I ran around the house looking for my important papers file box. And then I tore that apart looking for the list of courses I still need for my GE. Found them, but I had to redo it. I only need 4 more! :D Whoa! I could, technically, get them all in this quarter. You know... if I wanted to die...

I quickly sorted through the courses online. Found the best teachers, the best days, the best times, organized for this quarter, signed up, and hurried to dinner.

Dinner was great. Cheesecake Factory is so very good. :) It was nice to be with my friends, to feel so wanted and pleasant. It was so nice. <3 I love my friends.

Got home around 10:15 and relaxed. I'm in the process of mapping out the remainder of my De Anza career. I can't finish tonight because the student login is down for the evening. I have to wait until tomorrow. I did my best for the evening. Fall is, obviously, mapped. I believe I know two courses which I will take in Winter, and know one for Spring. I need to figure out how to get my science classes in, too.

This quarter I'm taking Philosophy, Speech, and Astronomy. I was going to re-take that last math class (Trig) due to the horrendous grade I got, but for some reason the system would not allow me to take it again. I am going to assume it's because I'm trying to take it right away-- it just occurred to me that I might have signed up for it during Summer term. But I dropped all my Summer courses before it even started because I needed a break! So, I may have used up my chances to retake it! NO! I can't have screwed myself over already?!

I need to talk to a school counselor to figure out how to get around that. Maybe they'll allow me to take it again once they understand I needed Summer off.

=_= I feel stupid, oh so stupid. It's insipid how stupid I FEEL! I'm so stupid, I can hardly believe I'm real.

I'm going to map out my life some more...