Losing it

So, something happened the other day. I was editing videos on iMovie, prepping for some youtube posting and realized I had to scurry off to an event with my friends. So I left my computer in the state of open application and off I went. I returned to find a dark screen and a spinning beach ball. I thought, "oh you are sleeping. Please wake up" and I made to wake it.

It never woke up.

I was, needless to say, distraught. I was panicked, really. So much was on that computer. I brought it to my dad and we spent a day trying to restore it, deciding it wasn't coming back and buying a newer bigger hard drive. Now I have more space than I can ever use.

But for a week+ I had maybe 8 applications. Only 4 of which were of any use. Blah. I had lost all of my music, so I spent a week uploading all my CD's again. Still, it's not the same.

Last night, my Dad uploaded all the last applications I needed. I have all the old ones back now.

I compare this thing to a body.

Imagine going to sleep one night and come morning you find you cannot wake up. Or move. You just lay there. You are aware of things but cannot be involved. So someone comes along and gives you a new brain. When you awake, you can see and walk, but you can't really feel your body and a lot of things aren't as easy to remember. You can remember how to talk on a very basic level, and walk (though unsteadily). It's just hard to be numb. Slowly, you can feel your chest again. Your face too. And you are learning more words. Still, you miss your limbs and how easily they used to move and the cool things you could do and feel.

One day, someone gives you a big meal full of things you can almost remember eating. And afterwards, you stand up and can feel your legs. You wiggle your toes in the carpet and know it. And your arms are fully functional too! And suddenly, all those big words are easy again. Sure, you don't remember a lot of math, or stories you heard. And not every word is back, but you suddenly know that you'll be okay.

Well. I have my body back and I can feel again. So, I'll be okay.