And then add where they all come from.
"Have you ever laughed so hard, it hurts your stomach?"
"Yeah, it's like being tickled with a knife."
This is from one of my many hilarious conversations with Kellen and Josh. Trying to describe how much it hurts to laugh too much.
"Oh! It's green! That's my lucky number!"
Also from a Kellen and Josh experience, we were bowling and I was having rotten luck. The next game came around, and the score keeping screen was green, which is my favorite color. Which is what I intended to say. The best part is, I didn't realize I said it that way until I had already picked up the bowling ball.
"I don’t really know how daisies and handcuffs are comparable, but, yes, I would rather have the daisies."
That's a quote from a report I found online. Improv Everywhere did a pantless-subway ride stint in New York, and one girl got arrested for it. When she complained the handcuffs were a little tight, the police officer asked if she had expected daisies. While she didn't say that quote to him, she said it to us.
"Mother of babies!! Where did you COME from?!?!"
This is from a video online, and an ex-convict with a bad English accent says it to a beak-less bird who wandered into air traffic control.
"50 dollars for llama?! What STEAL!"
Out on a group date, someone mentioned that we were near the area where you could get a llama for 50 dollars. Moments after I said that quote, she added that you could only rent them.
"See that green light?" (Points forty feet away, in opposite lane) "Make it!"
On the same group date, Brian decided we needed to get from a full stop at the right curb, to 40 feet ahead on the left curb, across 4 lanes of heavy traffic. Fortunately, he was not driving. Unfortunately, his room mate has this bizarre inclination to do thing Brian says while he is driving.
"They've been doing this since Moby Dick was a goldfish!"
While waiting in line for a concert, a ticket hawk was hawking (totally spelled wrong, huh?) his wares and the security guards told him he couldn't do that here. That quote was his response.
"You’re a cold woman. Let’s braid hair."
A quote from some scathing online critique of a famous woman's dress.
"You're dumb! Go take a nap."
Haley said this to me one day on the phone. I was very tired and seemed to be acting very silly. She basically yelled the first part, and then quietly laughed the second.
"I hate you! I wish I could hate you to death!"
This is all I can give you. This right here.
"What happens if the Unstoppable Force hits the Immovable Object?"
"Chuck Norris dies."
Not sure where I heard it or read it whatever'd it. But it's here and I'm laughing.
"Activities is like torching teddy bears"
"... or tennis."
Whit was trying to update her profile with some information and couldn't quite figure out what to put under activities. That seemed to encompass everything she'd put in interests, so... now what? I then proceeded to provide an example.
Whit: "Who needs clothes?"
Alli: "What?"
Whit: "I said, who need CLOTHES?"
Alli: "You do!"
Whit: "NOOOO!"
Alli: "Yes!"
Whit: "NOOOO!"
Alli: "YOU'RE NAKED!"
Whit: "OKAY!"
She wasn't really naked.
"Do Ninjas fall in love? No. Ninjas glide silently into love with two swords drawn."
The Ask a Ninja said this is response to someone's question.
"If you get teleported, let me know immediately."
A totally random something Haley and I heard Gordon say to someone. Maybe he was on the phone, or something. But he said it, and we laughed.
"I lost a piece of meat. Get back here, piece of meat! I want you. I want to eat you."
"That's really not much motivation for it to come back."
"It's dead! It has motivation to become alive in the love of my stomach!"
I was eating a beef sandwich, and my beef escaped the sandwich. Haley was on the phone as I expressed my unhappiness at my meats movement, and she tried to tell me I had no chance. Boy was she wrong.
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