My spoon is too big

So, the past week, I have been on lent. Or rather, something that is very like, but not the exact same as lent. Basically, lent with a different name.

What have I lented? (new word, use it) Internet. Most internet. Specifically!

Facebook
MySpace
Instant Messaging (except in emergencies)
And I have tried to keep from blogging.

I have created a rewards system for myself. Every week I go without, I get to buy myself a book. :3 Yee!

I suspect I must add YouTube to that list because it is VERY distracting. Goodness.

Anyway. Why I have lented these things away!

I spend far too much time on the computer being lazy youtubing, facebooking, myspacing, and whatever else. And I need to spend more time being real and doing real things. Like spending time with the family. Reading books. Drawing. Walking. Singing. Writing.

I've been writing! I wrote a short story, six pages long, that no one will ever read. Ever. I'm shy. But I enjoyed it.

Right. Well. Yes.

Don't Expect much from me on this front. Or any other front. I'm off being whatever I want to be.

In the wars

Sometimes I wonder if the pains will just taper off, yeah? Maybe after a few more months, they'll be gone. I mean, sometimes I don't feel them! That's a good sign. But then again, sometimes I do feel them. Quite sharply. And though the magnitude of whatever it is has decreased over the weeks, the fact remains: I'm still in pain. After a month. That is a bad bad thing.

So let's get an ultrasound!

Oh! So... 32 ounces of water sounds like a lot. But it's actually only 4 cups of water. Yeah. That's it. Right? Well... 4 cups of water? IS A LOT!

Water is NOT a tasty tasty treat...

Tuh-marruh

I finally get some ultrasounds tomorrow for my stomach pains. After over a month. How annoying.

As a result of the coming photos, I can't be eating or drinking after midnight. BUT tomorrow at 9 am, I have to start chugging 32 ounces of water. Ugh. And I have to drink it all by 9:30. I'm going to die.

Reading is lovely. I decided to read Emma first and Jane Eyer after that.

All bones, no lies

Song of choice: "Skinny Boy" by Amy Millan

Le sigh.

I have a lot to think about. It's hard being a girl sometimes, because my mind explores every option that could ever be available to me. And it taints a great many opportunities. Or imagines opportunities up where only walls will stand.

Happy Easter.

Finished Enchantment. I love that book. Jane Eyer is next, I believe. That excites me. :) I hope I can walk tomorrow. I miss the walking. I didn't walk today. It didn't occur to me. I walk on odd days.

Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays have always felt like "even days" while Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays feel like "odd days" and Sunday is the equals sign. Huh.. My life is a math equation. But either way, Sunday remains neither odd nor even, so I may choose to walk it. I should walk Saturdays, though. Definitely.

I catch myself staring off into space. Thinking of nothingness. What distracts me so.. I wish I could express it without confusing myself.

Writing has helped me keep my mind clear. As has reading. I have been finding marvelous ways to distract myself, no?

Song of choice: "Come Clean" by Eisley
(Can't wait to see them in May!!)

Huh... that's different

My stomach is flip-flopping. I don't know what to make of that. I feel like maybe I should eat something. No, wait, that makes it flip more (or rather, the idea does). I'm not sure what's the cause is.

Meanwhile, I feel for assured in some once conceived notions of mine. Yeah.

Brings us back to the impossible truth

This kind of thing, should not BE normal. That's all I have to say on that.

I have rediscovered my love of a certain band. Golden Age, I believe it's called. And learned. It is gone. Forever. The band is just gone. Which makes me sad because I like their music. I only have four songs, which may be all they ever made. But I love them.

Want school to be done. Tired of it. Want to go to the beach.

Are those sticks for leaning on, or scoring with?

I went to the Sharks game tonight vs. Minnesota. It was awesome! I love going to sports games. I love getting caught up in the energy and cheering and booing and clapping my hands numb. It's marvelous. :3

I finished "Children of the Mind" and so I have moved on to another series by another author.

Also, school tomorrow. Last real day of classes. How scary. Yeek.


see more crazy cat pics

As of today

I have decided to go walk down to the park everyday. We have a park down the street from us, it's a 10 or 15 minute walk. Really nice, too. Even sidewalk, some nice inclines too. I walked it today, sat on a bench for a while, and walked back. And read a book the entire time. It was lovely. So yeah, that's going to be my new thing to do. It's nice. Especially with all the books I've been meaning to read.

Also, I need to drink more water. Lots of water. I will try to drink a whole heck of a lot. Can you OD on water? Just curious... You know. In case I do.

But for the walk I made a playlist for my iPod called "pleasant day" and I filled it with charming music.
"Skyscraper" - The arrogants
"The Incurables" - The arrogants
"Pounding" - Doves
"1 2 3 4" - Feist
"Mushaboom" - Feist
"Just Like Heaven" - Katie Melua
"Listen to my bubble go pop!" - Kindercore
"War on Sound" - Moonbabies
"The Bones of an Idol" - NP
"These are the Fables" - NP
"Wraith pinned to the Mist" - Of Montreal
"Such Great Heights" - The Postal Service
"Brand New Colony" - The Postal Service
"Hallelujah" - Rufus Wainwright
"Antarctica Stars" - Sonicflyer
"The Book I Write" - Spoon
"Elevator Love Letter" - Stars
"World Spins Madly On" - The Weepies

It's a nice mix and I add to it and remove from it, as I see fit.

I currently see fit to shower.

What a day

Ehhhh, not much to report. Not much at all.

I thought I had something figured out concerning my chest pains, but it seems I was mistaken. Oh well. One more week until the ultrasounds. *waits*

And not having my math class to worry about has taken the load off my life because the other two classes required next to no work. Which is awesome. Just have to work on my speech classes group work. Research wind energy and draw an energy savvy house. Sweetness.

To be done:
[x] Finish "Xenocide"
[ ] Draw Laura's characters
[ ] Finish my sixteen drawings
[x] Start "Children of the Mind"
[ ] Laura's painting
[ ] Write
[ ] Start project

On nature and trees

Remember when I talked about the tree outside my window? Well that same tree is now so thick with leaves, I can't even see that little birds nest. I win.

Gordon is in town for a few days, sleeping on the couch. I'm glad to have my brother home, even for a short while.

Also, music. I bought some off iTunes yesterday. Yay music! Silversun Pickups, The Kills, and I looked for some Sonicflyer, but they only have it in the UK and not even my favorite song. I'm at a loss...

I also suspect I like videos too much.

Awesome Music Videos

I love scouring youtube for good music videos. These are the ones in my favorites.











:3

That's the way it should be

Basically, if I could be as adorable as that, I'd win everything.

I'm not a quitter

Just because I decided I will not be attending math anymore this quarter, does not make me a quitter. Things just aren't going to get better--I cannot salvage this class and the stress is killing me. So, I'm going to try to keep my stress down, focus on my other classes, and retake this class later. I was going to next quarter, but the teachers are so bad... so horrendously bad, I cannot bring myself to do it. I'll wait until summer, yeah?

Yeah..

But now I need a new class for next quarter. Biology? Wouldn't that be awesome. Physics and Chemistry and Biology. Woo.. T_T I'd die. So, maybe not biology. I'm at a loss..

I'm taking another history class.

Day lights saving time

I don't think it saves much time. I don't think day lights should go around trying to save time at all. They're not very good. ;)

It's 1 am and I don't feel tired. Well, I do, but that's because I stayed up too late last night. But I had a 4 hour nap between classes today, which was lovely. <3

Did I mention I've been drawing? I think I have. To lazy to go read some previous posts. Far too lazy. But, yes, I have been drawing.

Also, I have the hiccups. I don't get those often. Hm. I don't like them.

Eat something and go to bed. And get rid of these hiccups. I shall WILL them away.

Yo ho, blow the girl down

Yes, it is rather late. I am vastly and painfully aware of that fact. I am trying to type softly because my Mom is asleep in the family room (which is the only place she can sleep with her shoulder hurting). I think she can hear me anyway.

I'm taking a break from my speech. I got home from FHE and wasn't feeling hot, so I lay down. And woke up at 1:30 am. Curses. So I had to get working on the speech. I finished my outline just now, and will proceed to the check out counter to ... wait. Scratch that part. I will proceed to write the actual speech.

California Health Insurance.

Wee! :D I'm quite sleepy!

Doesn't like country music

Not a bit. Mostly. Very few songs I like. Like... five. Or six.

Been drawing a lot, which lovely. I've been needing to make progress.

Also, playing Sims. All kinds of Sims. Sims for my DS and for my mac. I love Sims. It makes me smile. And while away my time.

It's late. Not sure why I'm up.

I register for classes at 5 am. Not ready... grump.

Awesome Actions All Around

I could go on with the A thing. Totally.

This morning (or was it last night?) I decided to upload all my writings into google docs so if my computer should die, my stuff will not. And the only my docs will die is if the internet dies. And the only way the internet would die would be if the world blew up (let me believe this) and then it wouldn't matter anyway.

Also. Why must a person be so difficult when all I want to the institute directors number? What a bothersome sort of person he is. Not the director. The one with his number.

My mom is in surgery. I'm kind of paranoid. I want her to be better now and home and not at the hospital. I want to be pampering her now.

And, I had another rad dream. This one was about the future and bombs blowing up a huge oil thing and everything goes weird and Japan disappeared. Go figure. I shall write it down.

Must go to SJSU and be ranting and raving at counselors for confusing me. Collaboration with De Anza counselors, I swear. Determined to keep me at De Anza forever. And by forever I mean my children will be going there.

kthxbai.

I think it's clear

Things I wanted

There are things I always wanted to do that I lost sight of. And now... I want them. And I will work towards them.

Go to Wales for a long term visit.
Draw the comic I've been writing.

There are more and I've been rediscovering them recently. So... good luck to me. :3

Other various things

•_•

^_^

< D

:DDDDDD

Yes. Happy. Why? No idea. Truly!

I removed a major point of stress in my life over the weekend, so I've been happier. :P <-(that was a goofy smile, so imagine it)

Some new happenings on my chest/abdomen pains too.

Also, we got a new teacher in maths because our old teachers husband got lung cancer--non smoker type. I fasted for him on Sunday. Even though she'll never know. I don't like to see people cry. She cried in front of us a few times... :( I kept wanting to give her cookies or a casserole (I feel super Molly Mormon saying the casserole bit) but I didn't think it would be appropriate with her being my teacher. So I'll just satisfy my desire to help with fasting and prayer.

Skewel.